I don't make a lot of personal posts so please bear with me.
I don't make a lot of personal posts so please bear with me.
#Rufus hasn't been doing well for the past week or so. I mean, he's 13 (at least), and has slowed down due to age, but the past week or two he's been acting like every movement is a Herculean effort. A few times in the past couple of weeks his rear legs have given out on him completely to where I've had to pick him up and carry him which is, in itself, telling. Rufus has always hated being carried and struggled continuously when I did so.
Yesterday while petting him I noticed two golf-ball sized things up under his chin. Now, they may be benign lipomas as Rufus is covered with them (one one each thigh, one on each shoulder, one on his chest and a few smaller bumps here and there) or they may be indicative of something else. I'm no vet and aside from emergency medic battlefield training I have no medical experience whatsoever, but these new things seem to be where your or mine lymph nodes are located.
And worse yet, he's stopped eating. Rufus has always been extremely food motivated to the point that I joked he was the Flintstone's garbage disposal because he'd take anything you handed him and try to eat it. Now, he's barely been eating anything.
And for those of you who know, I moved a couple of months ago. While I'm not too far from the last vet Rufus saw, it is an hour drive, so I've been calling around since yesterday trying to find a local one. All three vets in the area have great online reviews but one couldn't get him in before next week, one could get him in tomorrow but since he's not eating I don't want to wait that long and one, a little further away, could see him in two hours.
These are all rural "country" doctors and I"m worried they're just going to tell me he's done.
[Here's Rufus from a couple of years ago]
Comments
There's obviously something wrong. Only a vet is going to be able to tell you how serious it is.
I went through this last year with my 14(?) year old cat, spent nearly $1000 and ended up making the hard choice. It's never easy.
Unfortunately.. all the begging and bartering with God in the world won't change all of our ultimate outcomes, but you can decide how you want to face that time.
Really.. it is better to know.
If it is coming.. you can make the most of your time. If he is just got a little infection.. you can clear it up and go get a steak together. 💗
franktownanimalclinic.com - Meet The Franktown Animal Clinic Veterinary Team in Franktown, Colorado
He's doing some blood work to try and narrow down what it might be and I'll know more by tomorrow.
Harold Chester, hopefully it's something easily treatable.
How are you two doing?
... Rufus' body isn't regenerating red blood cells thus making Rufus anemic. He thinks this could be a symptom of some other cancer (the lymph nodes are still swollen, after all) or some long term illness no one caught.
I'd attach the voicemail mp3 (Google Voice) but I don't know how on here.
veterinarypartner.com - Lymphoma in Dogs - VeterinaryPartner.com - a VIN company!
I'm so sorry.
I am sincere when I say if you need to talk.. I am here. You can PM if you want to.
Hug your sweet buddy.
This morning he's been slow but not stopped. It still might be his arthritis as it's 21°f out there. Or, it was when we went for a walk around the house.
This weekend's supposed to be sunny and in the fifties, so we'll see how he does. I'm also still waiting on a call back from a discount vet clinic that provides discounted vet care to those in need. He just needs an ultrasound test to look for cancer indicators in his organs but it retails at $400 and I don't have that laying around. The discount vet clinic should be 50% off.
Do you have a funding page?
plus.google.com - Wonderful essay by Chris La Tray. Any dog owner can relate... <3 https://www...
But I didn't. We're sending a biopsy sample of his lymph nodes to a pathologist for a specialized review but she believes he's in at least Stage 3 and possibly Stage 4 of lymphoma.
She sent us home with some pain medications to see if he can get some vitality back, but he could literally drop dead at any moment.
It has not been a good day.
Canine Lymphoma research studies:
ebusiness.avma.org - AAHSD Study Search
Canine Lymphoma information:
https://caninelymphoma.com/canine-lymphoma-diagnostic-process/
Canine Lymphoma:
http://vth.vetmed.wsu.edu/specialties/oncology/information-for-owners/dog-lymphoma
Canine Lymphoma:
https://vet.purdue.edu/pcop/canine-lymphoma-research.php
He's also eating. A lot. Granted, he's moved over to chicken and rice (which he loves), but he's also pushing the roommate's dog out of the way to finish his food as well. Plus all the cookies.
Still waiting on a call from the pathologist to give me a definitive answer (or as definitive as biology can be) of whether or not Rufus actually has lymphoma.
The vet just called and said the pathologist got back with her. Apparently Rufus does indeed have lymphoma - what she called "high grade" or fast acting, which means Rufus has maybe a few weeks left.
We're going to try a steroid treatment to see if we can get him a couple of extra months, but there's no guarantee he will take to it. Per her, the steroids will attack the immune system, of which the lymph nodes are a part of, and has the potential to slow down his cancer. She gave the same sort of diagnosis for chemo: if he takes to it it will be months. Maybe. But while the chemo has a chance to send him into remission there is no guarantee he'll take to it or how long the remission will last.
Not really related but she said she'd be at that vet office through next week then she wouldn't be there anymore so I'll have to get answers from vets I've never met.
You might want to go ahead and meet other vets while she is still around.
I'm really sorry.
I do not like this.
Also, I think the lymph nodes in his throat are preventing him from swallowing anything but soft foods. Either that or he's really enjoying his chicken and rice diet and doesn't want anything crunchy. When I do throw in a little bit of kibble or give him a hard candy cookie he just looks at me like I'm torturing him.
He did like the expensive ice cream tonight, though.
I'd also noted he hasn't made a peep - not a bark, a whine, a growl or anything - in nearly two weeks; about the time I noticed the lymph nodes swollen. He used to bark at his fat monkey all the time: give me a cookie! take me outside! It's two minutes past dinner time, idiot! I'm bored!
Now ... nothing.
He hasn't been able to hear my voice say his name or call him to me or anything else in nearly a year and now I can't hear him.
I really don't like this.
As my roommate keeps saying, "He still has the cancer." Yes, I'm aware of that. The steroids, the whole everything I'm doing, is to give him a good quality of life until he's done and right now the steroids are doing just that. I'll take it.
And, for what it's worth, the lymph nodes beneath his chin seem to have shrunk to a size below that of when I first noticed them.
I think I've narrowed down the cause, though. It seems he gets diarrhea after longer walks. We're not doing four or five miles every day anymore, but rather a mile every other day.
And for what it's worth, he had two dinners last night so there was lots of extra.
We walked slow and steady for about an hour then when we turned back towards the parking lot he seemed to find his energy. https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/XeO0afo_Qr5oHh38_1dUFeeYM4YxTLGTrbq2uCwYVUCnOeuQ6R1fbdXRanDyGtlQmCj71OtTnXI
Yesterday he was struggling a little. It seemed to be more of a physical discomfort as his rear legs gave out beneath him a couple of times so I didn't make him do anything too strenuous.
This morning I woke up a few hours earlier with the specific goal of getting him up and outside so he wasn't having any trouble holding it until his normal time. I was already too late as he was lying in his own feces.
I don't think he could get up with his rear legs not working well and his penchant for sleeping on the cooler tile floor.
A couple of hours later I took him outside again and he barely made it out the door before the (dare I say it?) assplosion.
I also noticed the lymph nodes beneath his jaw are extremely swollen again. Like, the size of ping pong balls swollen. I don't think the steroids are working anymore - or at least they're not working as well as they had been.
Poor Rufus.
I was already too late.
So, I helped him up and led him outside to a ground covered in a thin layer of snow and hung out with him out there for far longer than I would have thought. He seemed uninterested in either going for a short walk or returning to the house.
After what seemed like far too long he finally headed for the door and I spent the next thirty minutes cleaning up his mess.
I started wondering yesterday if I've kept him alive too long. Especially after my roommate said something I had not considered. She said, He might be holding on just for you.
I don't know if he's in actual pain, other than the physical pain of his hips hurting, as he's been on pain meds for about a month now. In fact, I just called the vet yesterday for a refill. I do know his lymph nodes in his throat are so swollen he can't eat solid foods anymore and eats only soft, mushy, meals and treats. His rear legs don't seem to want to work very well and he hasn't had a solid movement in over a week.
The vet said I'd know when the time was right. She said, "You know your dog. When his personality changes, it's time."
The thing is, his personality hasn't really changed. He still tried to chase a kitty last night, still thinks he's starving to death and still demands the Fat Monkey feed him on time, if not more often. The last couple of days he found steak bones in the yard (I have no idea where they came from) and tried to chow down on them before the Monkey could take them away and he, once again, seriously tried to Jedi-mind trick me into giving him my food while I was eating a hot dog. (see image below)
I don't think he has much longer in him. Maybe this weekend and that's it.
https://plus.google.com/photos/...
It was better to see her go out at the vets than letting her die at home - when they gave her the first shot of morphine, all the tension went out of her body and she was at peace and not feeling a damned thing.
What's the situation with Rufus?
For those of you who missed it on Saturday, here's Rufus chomping away at the steak jerky in my hand hard enough to go through my skin and, for the first time in his life, draw blood from me.
https://plus.google.com/photos/...
To be fair, I'd also double-dosed him with pain killers this morning (mostly due to the aforementioned cold front moving through) but it was still a very low dosage. He's been getting 1 pill twice a day, but he can have up to two pills twice a day. So far he's only up to two pills today. He still gets at least one in about an hour.
Sorry.
I just went upstairs and brought to water dish to him so he could have a drink. I'm worried he won't be able to "hold it" overnight but I'll deal with that in the morning. I also tried maneuvering him into a more comfortable position since he's likely to be in the one position all night. When I touched his one leg he squealed, which is saying a lot (see previous comment about him not making sounds anymore). So, I really do believe it's a physical injury, possibly from slipping on the tiled portion of the floor for much recently. I really don't know. What I do know is that his quality of life has decreased fast and I'm going to feel terrible if I'm not letting him die when he should.
Then I called crematoriums to see what it takes to get him in. Caring Pathways will take him themselves, but they just use one of the local services and aside from delivering him there isn't much else they do. One local crematorium I called was very nice and said I could not only place him in the furnace myself but wait on site for him to be cremated. He also said it would be about 5 hours considering Rufus' body weight. I'm kind of leaning that way so I can watch and ensure he's treating properly I'm just not quite sure I'll be able to drive home and it is over an hour away from me.
This sucks.
caringpathways.com - In Home Pet Euthanasia & Hospice Care In Denver | Caring Pathways
I feel for you man.
I make that decision by thinking.. would I be ready to be put down for whatever the problem is.
It is a terrible adult time.
I had to ask myself, if I was okay with her dying then shouldn't I be okay with Rufus passing on? Is it fair to treat their needs differently? And my answer is no. And so tomorrow I will be a bubbling mess. In the meantime he's sleeping.
Snuggle that baby.
photos.app.goo.gl - photos.app.goo.gl/A8klAFUuEMcUsrT92
tonic.vice.com - Mourning a Dog Can Be Harder Than Mourning a Person
Condolences on your loss, Jason ON
That bit.ly link doesn't work.
scientificamerican.com - Why We Need to Take Pet Loss Seriously