The Downside of a Good Deed
I'm at home, post lunch and pre-productivity. Don't ask.
The TV is on in the background and the dogs were just given their noon-time cookies. I'd just fired up the laptop when the doorbell chimed. Both dogs went bananas and I tried to get to the FedEx guy before he dropped his package and left. You see, the FedEx guy is the only one who uses the doorbell, most other people knock.
I'm not sure why that is, honestly. Is it because most homes in this neighborhood don't have bells and the one here is aftermarket? Is it because the doorbell's color matches the surrounding trim work and therefore seems camouflaged?
Regardless, I shoo'd the dogs out of the way and opened the door, not to a dark blue uniformed FedEx employee, but to two dark blue uniformed Aurora police officers.
They were here in regards to a situation that took place nearly a month ago. My neighbors are loud and vulgar. They scream and yell at each other at all hours with offenses like "you bitch" and "fuck you, you stupid whore." At the time they were arguing with their child's school about the child's behavior in the classroom. Apparently, he was emulating his parent's by calling the teachers "stupid bitch" and "fucking cunt" the school was complaining to the parents and the parents were claiming the school was making the behavior up because their son is never around such language. They also insinuated that they're being targeted for being gay.
Yet, my neighbors are loud. Really loud and really vulgar. We can hear them inside our home when they're screaming at each other, we can hear them over conversations, over the television and just about anything else. They've woken us up in the middle of the night with their screaming and even their own friends have complained about how loud they are, warning them that someone would eventually call the police on them. The one woman was pretty clear when she said she didn't "give a fuck. I can be as loud as I want."
Fast forward to today. Two police officers on my front porch. The older one, "Did you go by a child's school yesterday?"
I honestly answered, "No I did not."
"You didn't?" he asked.
"I can honestly say I did not go over there yesterday."
"But you have been over there?" he asked again.
"Yes," I answered. That's when both of their postures changed from casual to prepared.
"Well, the school called and said you were there yesterday," the one officer said.
"Nope, I was busy yesterday."
"Why did you go there?"
"It was a few weeks ago. You see, I can always hear my neighbors. They're always outside and always loud. They scream and yell at one another all the time. They fling abusive language around left and right, call each other 'bitch' and the N word, amongst others. And we heard them arguing with the school about the kid's behavior saying the kid never hears that kind of language. I just went over there to say the kid hears it all the time."
"Did you suggest they call social services?"
"I did," I answered. "I said, if they thought they had reason to, it's probably not a bad idea."
"You can't do that," the officer said.
The other one spoke, "Why didn't you call social services?"
"Because," I sighed. "I don't know what goes on inside their home, only what happens outside. I didn't think I had enough to call them myself."
"So," the younger officer asked, "you wanted to call social services because they're smokers?"
I sighed again, "No. I suggested the school call them because of the child's behavior."
"You can't do that, sir," the one officer said.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You can't just go up to some school and start asking about a kid. This is a new world. With all the school shootings and things, you can't go up to a school and start asking about their students."
"The only reason I knew which school the kid went to was because they," I pointed to where the couple lives, "came over and used my phone to call them. I just wanted the school to know that the parents were lying to them, that the kid sees that sort of behavior all the time and the parents were just playing the victim card.
"You know as well as I do children will emulate what they see at home. I wanted the school to be able to make informed decisions on how best to handle him instead of just throwing him out."
The shorter, younger officer spoke, "You can't do that. You have to call the police."
"You're saying, I can't do a good deed? That I can't do what's right, moral or ethical? That when my neighbor was being hit by her boyfriend that I shouldn't have gone over there and pulled him off? That when I see a kid with a broken leg I shouldn't help because I'm not the parent?
"I don't want to live in that world. For evil to succeed, good men must do nothing." I mangled the quote, but the point was made.
"I get what you're saying," the younger officer said. "You have to see it from our perspective."
"I do," I assured him. And I did. Strange guy shows up at a school and starts commenting about a student does seem a little weird without all the background. "I'm trying to let you understand my perspective. I was doing what I thought was the right thing."
"And the school said you called them lesbians," the younger officer said.
"I did not. It came up in conversation at one point. There were two women there and I was talking to one. When the other one came up the first one said, he's here about the one student and his moms. That's when I said, 'Oh, you know who I'm talking about then.' They never confirmed the kid went there and told me quite frankly that they couldn't admit to the kid's enrollment or not to which I told them I understood completely. The only time it came up that they were a lesbian couple was as a descriptor. I don't know the kid's last name, if the couple shares a last name or if the school had more than one kid of the same name.
"Well," the younger officer said, "there is a law that says you can't target them based on their race, sexual orientation, religion..."
I cut him off, "Yes. I don't care that they're lesbians. I care that they're loud and I can hear them screaming vulgarities at each other. That's all I care about."
"Then you should report them."
"I do," I said. He looked surprised. "I report them to the HOA and each time they've lied about it and sometimes even claiming persecution based on their being lesbians or an interracial couple. I don't care. I only care that they're loud, that they wake me up in the middle of the night, that I can't watch TV or sit and read a book because they're always so loud." One time they even used being single as their defense for being loud. Their counter argument was, We can't be loud because we'don't have a boyfriend and don't have anyone to fight with. As if one needed to be in a heterosexual relationship to have loud arguments.
My point is, they lie. They lie all the time and they fall back on persecution whenever anyone complains about them. They're lesbians and must be targeted for their gayness; they're an interracial couple and anyone complaining must be racist; they're women thus making complainers misogynists and more. Personal accountability has, apparently, never crossed their minds.
The older officer took my name and date of birth. He said they weren't going to be making any arrests today, but I was banned from the school. I told him I thought it was weird that they're calling now because I went there a couple of weeks ago, not yesterday. He assured me the school claims I was there yesterday, but he would verify. I told him I could verify it myself if he'd let me check my computer, I blogged about the incident.
He smiled and said, "Don't blog about it. Don't do anything about it."
But why, I asked, "I didn't do anything wrong. I understand your need to check me out, but it can't be against the law to provide information to the school so they can better decisions." Besides, I learned a long time ago to write down an account of events whenever something happened in case it came back to try and bite me in the ass months or years later. What better way to write down an account than to blog about it?
"It is," the older officer said. "I was born in 1957 [I think he said, 1950-something in any case] and I believe in a lot of old school things about right and wrong. But we live in a different world now. A world with school shootings and kidnappings. You can't just walk into a school these days."
"And I see it from your perspective," I tried to assure him. "I just want you to see mine."
The younger officer spoke up, "Luckily, it's a private school. Had this been a Cherry Creek school we might have to take you away. As it stands, you're banned from the school. They wanted you arrested for trespassing if you ever go back."
"For something that happened over a month ago? I haven't been back," I said. I told the school what I thought they needed to work with the kid and thus fulfilled my moral and ethical obligations. "That's all."
"Well don't," the officer said. "They're banning you from the property."
"That's fine," I said. If they'd rather ban me from the property than take what I said into consideration, then they're the fools. Or, perhaps, they're taking their cake and eating it. The school had my statement about the kid's at home life and now they're legally protecting themselves. Or did something else happen?
I don't know and I can't find out.
"So," said. "I complain to the HOA and they call the police? Is that how this works now?"
"They didn't call us," the officer said. "The school called us. We just spoke with them," he indicated my neighbors. "And now we're speaking with you. They admitted to being loud and swearing at you and said something about your dog."
"Really?" I asked. "When I went there the school thanked me for letting them know and told me I must be a really nice guy for going out of my way. And the dog's just loud. He barks whenever the kid goes by on his bicycles, so they're scared of him."
"I don't know about that," he said. "You're sure you weren't there yesterday?"
"Positive."
They left, thanking me for my candor and honesty.
The problem is, we're taught to do the right thing from the moment we're old enough to understand words. 'Help your neighbor' is a tenent in almost every religion. If we don't get involved to try and correct a wrong, who will? The police? I'm reminded of a few times when I called the police only to have them show at a significant time later and make no arrests. Or not be witness to the crime and unable to do anything more than give a verbal warning.
And why would the school call a month later? Were they having a meeting and someone remembered the event, said something, and the school decided to make my visit official? Were they threatening to expel the child and decided to legally protect themselves somehow?
The only logical scenario that makes sense is, for some reason, the school called the police. What prompted that call I can't know. They gave a statement about someone being there yesterday and the address of the parents. The police went to the parents who pointed them in my direction.
I told the police they were more than welcome to arrest me, that no judge would convict me of anything more than being a busy body, but they declined.
But, how many school related incidents would have been avoidable if someone had spoken up instead of claiming it's none of their business? Would Harris and Klebold have shot up Columbine if someone came forward beforehand? Would Cho have gone on a shooting rampage at Virginia Tech if someone had told the school about his background? Would Rogers have had access to the University of California if someone had warned the school about his behavioral problems?
We can't know how many tragedies are averted due to someone somewhere speaking up because we can't predict future events that may or may not happen, but I'd rather err on the side of caution.
The TV is on in the background and the dogs were just given their noon-time cookies. I'd just fired up the laptop when the doorbell chimed. Both dogs went bananas and I tried to get to the FedEx guy before he dropped his package and left. You see, the FedEx guy is the only one who uses the doorbell, most other people knock.
I'm not sure why that is, honestly. Is it because most homes in this neighborhood don't have bells and the one here is aftermarket? Is it because the doorbell's color matches the surrounding trim work and therefore seems camouflaged?
Regardless, I shoo'd the dogs out of the way and opened the door, not to a dark blue uniformed FedEx employee, but to two dark blue uniformed Aurora police officers.
They were here in regards to a situation that took place nearly a month ago. My neighbors are loud and vulgar. They scream and yell at each other at all hours with offenses like "you bitch" and "fuck you, you stupid whore." At the time they were arguing with their child's school about the child's behavior in the classroom. Apparently, he was emulating his parent's by calling the teachers "stupid bitch" and "fucking cunt" the school was complaining to the parents and the parents were claiming the school was making the behavior up because their son is never around such language. They also insinuated that they're being targeted for being gay.
Yet, my neighbors are loud. Really loud and really vulgar. We can hear them inside our home when they're screaming at each other, we can hear them over conversations, over the television and just about anything else. They've woken us up in the middle of the night with their screaming and even their own friends have complained about how loud they are, warning them that someone would eventually call the police on them. The one woman was pretty clear when she said she didn't "give a fuck. I can be as loud as I want."
Fast forward to today. Two police officers on my front porch. The older one, "Did you go by a child's school yesterday?"
I honestly answered, "No I did not."
"You didn't?" he asked.
"I can honestly say I did not go over there yesterday."
"But you have been over there?" he asked again.
"Yes," I answered. That's when both of their postures changed from casual to prepared.
"Well, the school called and said you were there yesterday," the one officer said.
"Nope, I was busy yesterday."
"Why did you go there?"
"It was a few weeks ago. You see, I can always hear my neighbors. They're always outside and always loud. They scream and yell at one another all the time. They fling abusive language around left and right, call each other 'bitch' and the N word, amongst others. And we heard them arguing with the school about the kid's behavior saying the kid never hears that kind of language. I just went over there to say the kid hears it all the time."
"Did you suggest they call social services?"
"I did," I answered. "I said, if they thought they had reason to, it's probably not a bad idea."
"You can't do that," the officer said.
The other one spoke, "Why didn't you call social services?"
"Because," I sighed. "I don't know what goes on inside their home, only what happens outside. I didn't think I had enough to call them myself."
"So," the younger officer asked, "you wanted to call social services because they're smokers?"
I sighed again, "No. I suggested the school call them because of the child's behavior."
"You can't do that, sir," the one officer said.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You can't just go up to some school and start asking about a kid. This is a new world. With all the school shootings and things, you can't go up to a school and start asking about their students."
"The only reason I knew which school the kid went to was because they," I pointed to where the couple lives, "came over and used my phone to call them. I just wanted the school to know that the parents were lying to them, that the kid sees that sort of behavior all the time and the parents were just playing the victim card.
"You know as well as I do children will emulate what they see at home. I wanted the school to be able to make informed decisions on how best to handle him instead of just throwing him out."
The shorter, younger officer spoke, "You can't do that. You have to call the police."
"You're saying, I can't do a good deed? That I can't do what's right, moral or ethical? That when my neighbor was being hit by her boyfriend that I shouldn't have gone over there and pulled him off? That when I see a kid with a broken leg I shouldn't help because I'm not the parent?
"I don't want to live in that world. For evil to succeed, good men must do nothing." I mangled the quote, but the point was made.
"I get what you're saying," the younger officer said. "You have to see it from our perspective."
"I do," I assured him. And I did. Strange guy shows up at a school and starts commenting about a student does seem a little weird without all the background. "I'm trying to let you understand my perspective. I was doing what I thought was the right thing."
"And the school said you called them lesbians," the younger officer said.
"I did not. It came up in conversation at one point. There were two women there and I was talking to one. When the other one came up the first one said, he's here about the one student and his moms. That's when I said, 'Oh, you know who I'm talking about then.' They never confirmed the kid went there and told me quite frankly that they couldn't admit to the kid's enrollment or not to which I told them I understood completely. The only time it came up that they were a lesbian couple was as a descriptor. I don't know the kid's last name, if the couple shares a last name or if the school had more than one kid of the same name.
"Well," the younger officer said, "there is a law that says you can't target them based on their race, sexual orientation, religion..."
I cut him off, "Yes. I don't care that they're lesbians. I care that they're loud and I can hear them screaming vulgarities at each other. That's all I care about."
"Then you should report them."
"I do," I said. He looked surprised. "I report them to the HOA and each time they've lied about it and sometimes even claiming persecution based on their being lesbians or an interracial couple. I don't care. I only care that they're loud, that they wake me up in the middle of the night, that I can't watch TV or sit and read a book because they're always so loud." One time they even used being single as their defense for being loud. Their counter argument was, We can't be loud because we'don't have a boyfriend and don't have anyone to fight with. As if one needed to be in a heterosexual relationship to have loud arguments.
My point is, they lie. They lie all the time and they fall back on persecution whenever anyone complains about them. They're lesbians and must be targeted for their gayness; they're an interracial couple and anyone complaining must be racist; they're women thus making complainers misogynists and more. Personal accountability has, apparently, never crossed their minds.
The older officer took my name and date of birth. He said they weren't going to be making any arrests today, but I was banned from the school. I told him I thought it was weird that they're calling now because I went there a couple of weeks ago, not yesterday. He assured me the school claims I was there yesterday, but he would verify. I told him I could verify it myself if he'd let me check my computer, I blogged about the incident.
He smiled and said, "Don't blog about it. Don't do anything about it."
But why, I asked, "I didn't do anything wrong. I understand your need to check me out, but it can't be against the law to provide information to the school so they can better decisions." Besides, I learned a long time ago to write down an account of events whenever something happened in case it came back to try and bite me in the ass months or years later. What better way to write down an account than to blog about it?
"It is," the older officer said. "I was born in 1957 [I think he said, 1950-something in any case] and I believe in a lot of old school things about right and wrong. But we live in a different world now. A world with school shootings and kidnappings. You can't just walk into a school these days."
"And I see it from your perspective," I tried to assure him. "I just want you to see mine."
The younger officer spoke up, "Luckily, it's a private school. Had this been a Cherry Creek school we might have to take you away. As it stands, you're banned from the school. They wanted you arrested for trespassing if you ever go back."
"For something that happened over a month ago? I haven't been back," I said. I told the school what I thought they needed to work with the kid and thus fulfilled my moral and ethical obligations. "That's all."
"Well don't," the officer said. "They're banning you from the property."
"That's fine," I said. If they'd rather ban me from the property than take what I said into consideration, then they're the fools. Or, perhaps, they're taking their cake and eating it. The school had my statement about the kid's at home life and now they're legally protecting themselves. Or did something else happen?
I don't know and I can't find out.
"So," said. "I complain to the HOA and they call the police? Is that how this works now?"
"They didn't call us," the officer said. "The school called us. We just spoke with them," he indicated my neighbors. "And now we're speaking with you. They admitted to being loud and swearing at you and said something about your dog."
"Really?" I asked. "When I went there the school thanked me for letting them know and told me I must be a really nice guy for going out of my way. And the dog's just loud. He barks whenever the kid goes by on his bicycles, so they're scared of him."
"I don't know about that," he said. "You're sure you weren't there yesterday?"
"Positive."
They left, thanking me for my candor and honesty.
The problem is, we're taught to do the right thing from the moment we're old enough to understand words. 'Help your neighbor' is a tenent in almost every religion. If we don't get involved to try and correct a wrong, who will? The police? I'm reminded of a few times when I called the police only to have them show at a significant time later and make no arrests. Or not be witness to the crime and unable to do anything more than give a verbal warning.
And why would the school call a month later? Were they having a meeting and someone remembered the event, said something, and the school decided to make my visit official? Were they threatening to expel the child and decided to legally protect themselves somehow?
The only logical scenario that makes sense is, for some reason, the school called the police. What prompted that call I can't know. They gave a statement about someone being there yesterday and the address of the parents. The police went to the parents who pointed them in my direction.
I told the police they were more than welcome to arrest me, that no judge would convict me of anything more than being a busy body, but they declined.
But, how many school related incidents would have been avoidable if someone had spoken up instead of claiming it's none of their business? Would Harris and Klebold have shot up Columbine if someone came forward beforehand? Would Cho have gone on a shooting rampage at Virginia Tech if someone had told the school about his background? Would Rogers have had access to the University of California if someone had warned the school about his behavioral problems?
We can't know how many tragedies are averted due to someone somewhere speaking up because we can't predict future events that may or may not happen, but I'd rather err on the side of caution.
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