I have a friend...
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I went to a party. Okay, so it wasn't that long ago and it wasn't in another galaxy, but I did go to a party.
It was a friend's 40th. I've known the guy since 1994 and started hanging out with him in 1996/7. Over the years we've traveled together, worked together, helped each other out and been there for each other.
Recently, he started dating a girl. By recently, I mean in the past 2 years. He met her through her ex-husband whom he worked with at the time. This was before she got married to him and my friend even went to her wedding. They remained friends all throughout her marriage. When she and her husband decided to break up my friend picked a side. She wasn't out of her house for an hour before they were going on out-of-town weekend trips with her; dating her and then inviting her to move in with him.
Fast forward a year and I'm over at his house just hanging out one afternoon. I asked how everything was going, not exactly sure he should be moving in with a girl before she was even legally divorced. He said everything was fine, until she drinks. Apparently, she was a mean drunk.
I didn't realize how bad it was for him. You see, I'd met her a few times over the years at various happy hours, BBQs and other social events. She never talked much and when she did it was always with some sort of bitterness. You know the type, she was better at her job, she was in better shape, she lived on the better side of town, she had the better life. It didn't matter what you tried to talk about, she was better. I invited her motorcycle riding a couple of time since both she and her husband rode. If she didn't ignore the invite, she just said no. I friended her on FB and then unfriended her on FB.
In my opinion, she has the personality of a wet mop. Now she was living with a friend of mine.
A few months later, the day before his 40th birthday, I went over to his house and helped him set up extra tables and chairs; helped him prepare his lawn and patio areas and pretty much lift heavy things. Jokingly I said to her, "You're throwing this party, shouldn't you be setting things up, not us?"
Her response was to throw a fit, screaming about how much she does for him and if I didn't like it I could leave. He yelled right back telling her she needed to go "calm the fuck down."
The night of the party I stayed away from her. Somewhen around midnight she went to bed, having had too much to drink. However, the party was still going on. There were still upwards of twenty people in the house, the music was still blaring and the cake hadn't even been cut into yet. Birthday songs hadn't been sung, presents hadn't been opened and the birthday boy was running around in his birthday suit.
Twenty minutes or so after she supposedly went to bed, she came downstairs and started telling everyone, "Get out of my house. Get out of my house! Get out of my fucking house!"
Those of us in the kitchen just sat there dumbfounded. When no one moved she started taking drinks and food out of people's hands and screaming "get out!" over and over again. Finally, my friend who was outside, came in to see what was going on and she started screaming at him, "Get your goddamn friends out of my house!"
It only escalated from there. Five hours later and there were holes in the walls, tables and chairs had been thrown, full and empty bottles had been smashed, food and his birthday cake was speared all over the floors and walls, etc. All of it from her. I watched as she flipped over the table holding the cake and presents, as she tried to kick the back door down to get to him; how she threw whatever was handy at him. He yelled at her to get out, "I'm tired of your shit. We're done! Get out of my house!" and more.
He never laid a hand on her. She, however, attacked him, scratching him up and busting up another person's lip when he went to pull her off my friend. Over the hours most of the remaining people left, not wanting to be involved in the drama unfolding. However, a lot of people stayed. The party was a drink til you drop affair and about a dozen had planned on sleeping in spare rooms, on couches and blow up mattresses.
I stayed. Having ridden my motorcycle I was the only one in the house not drinking and I figured, if they needed a witness in the future, they would need a sober one. My friend, in order to stay away from her, ended up leaving the house and sitting in another friend's car down the street until everything calmed down.
She didn't calm down. It seemed the very sight of each person left just made her more angry. Someone found her phone and was able to call her mother to come get her, but not before the cops arrived.
This is was annoys me the most of that evening: everyone lied to the police. Trying to keep her out of trouble they covered for her. Fuck that, I told the truth. But, I was just one story amid half a dozen more. And when my friend learned the cops were coming, he actually tried to get her out of the house so she wouldn't be arrested. In the middle of all that drama he was still looking out for her best interests.
By way of thanking him she left more scratches on his skin. According to a friend of both of theirs who was still at the party, her ex-husband always complained about her violent streak when she drank but no one ever believed him. Now people were seeing it first hand and putting her ex-husband's words under new light.
Fast forward another year and I've only talked to my friend once since his birthday. We met for lunch in January and had a great time. He didn't bring up the whole event and neither did I. He sent me a text for my birthday in May.
A couple of days later I receive and invite to his wedding. Apparently he decided to get married to this troll of a woman. The wedding is next month and today is the final day to return the invitation. It's still sitting on the ottoman where I've looked at it every day for over a month.
I want to be there for my friend, but I can't support this wedding. Maybe she's pregnant, maybe she gave him an ultimatum or maybe he just likes the drama. I don't know. It's somewhat of a dilemma. Support my friend and inadvertently his marriage to this banshee, or take a stand and possibly sabotage a friendship that's lasted through feast and famine. Heck, the man he asked to be his best man isn't even going to the wedding and a number of mutual friends unfriended him on Facebook, albeit over something else, but it did involve her.
It's a twenty mile drive to his house and I need to take the invitation to him.
Why can't this be easier?
It was a friend's 40th. I've known the guy since 1994 and started hanging out with him in 1996/7. Over the years we've traveled together, worked together, helped each other out and been there for each other.
Recently, he started dating a girl. By recently, I mean in the past 2 years. He met her through her ex-husband whom he worked with at the time. This was before she got married to him and my friend even went to her wedding. They remained friends all throughout her marriage. When she and her husband decided to break up my friend picked a side. She wasn't out of her house for an hour before they were going on out-of-town weekend trips with her; dating her and then inviting her to move in with him.
Fast forward a year and I'm over at his house just hanging out one afternoon. I asked how everything was going, not exactly sure he should be moving in with a girl before she was even legally divorced. He said everything was fine, until she drinks. Apparently, she was a mean drunk.
I didn't realize how bad it was for him. You see, I'd met her a few times over the years at various happy hours, BBQs and other social events. She never talked much and when she did it was always with some sort of bitterness. You know the type, she was better at her job, she was in better shape, she lived on the better side of town, she had the better life. It didn't matter what you tried to talk about, she was better. I invited her motorcycle riding a couple of time since both she and her husband rode. If she didn't ignore the invite, she just said no. I friended her on FB and then unfriended her on FB.
In my opinion, she has the personality of a wet mop. Now she was living with a friend of mine.
Her response was to throw a fit, screaming about how much she does for him and if I didn't like it I could leave. He yelled right back telling her she needed to go "calm the fuck down."
The night of the party I stayed away from her. Somewhen around midnight she went to bed, having had too much to drink. However, the party was still going on. There were still upwards of twenty people in the house, the music was still blaring and the cake hadn't even been cut into yet. Birthday songs hadn't been sung, presents hadn't been opened and the birthday boy was running around in his birthday suit.
Twenty minutes or so after she supposedly went to bed, she came downstairs and started telling everyone, "Get out of my house. Get out of my house! Get out of my fucking house!"
Those of us in the kitchen just sat there dumbfounded. When no one moved she started taking drinks and food out of people's hands and screaming "get out!" over and over again. Finally, my friend who was outside, came in to see what was going on and she started screaming at him, "Get your goddamn friends out of my house!"
It only escalated from there. Five hours later and there were holes in the walls, tables and chairs had been thrown, full and empty bottles had been smashed, food and his birthday cake was speared all over the floors and walls, etc. All of it from her. I watched as she flipped over the table holding the cake and presents, as she tried to kick the back door down to get to him; how she threw whatever was handy at him. He yelled at her to get out, "I'm tired of your shit. We're done! Get out of my house!" and more.
He never laid a hand on her. She, however, attacked him, scratching him up and busting up another person's lip when he went to pull her off my friend. Over the hours most of the remaining people left, not wanting to be involved in the drama unfolding. However, a lot of people stayed. The party was a drink til you drop affair and about a dozen had planned on sleeping in spare rooms, on couches and blow up mattresses.
I stayed. Having ridden my motorcycle I was the only one in the house not drinking and I figured, if they needed a witness in the future, they would need a sober one. My friend, in order to stay away from her, ended up leaving the house and sitting in another friend's car down the street until everything calmed down.
She didn't calm down. It seemed the very sight of each person left just made her more angry. Someone found her phone and was able to call her mother to come get her, but not before the cops arrived.
This is was annoys me the most of that evening: everyone lied to the police. Trying to keep her out of trouble they covered for her. Fuck that, I told the truth. But, I was just one story amid half a dozen more. And when my friend learned the cops were coming, he actually tried to get her out of the house so she wouldn't be arrested. In the middle of all that drama he was still looking out for her best interests.
By way of thanking him she left more scratches on his skin. According to a friend of both of theirs who was still at the party, her ex-husband always complained about her violent streak when she drank but no one ever believed him. Now people were seeing it first hand and putting her ex-husband's words under new light.
Fast forward another year and I've only talked to my friend once since his birthday. We met for lunch in January and had a great time. He didn't bring up the whole event and neither did I. He sent me a text for my birthday in May.
A couple of days later I receive and invite to his wedding. Apparently he decided to get married to this troll of a woman. The wedding is next month and today is the final day to return the invitation. It's still sitting on the ottoman where I've looked at it every day for over a month.
I want to be there for my friend, but I can't support this wedding. Maybe she's pregnant, maybe she gave him an ultimatum or maybe he just likes the drama. I don't know. It's somewhat of a dilemma. Support my friend and inadvertently his marriage to this banshee, or take a stand and possibly sabotage a friendship that's lasted through feast and famine. Heck, the man he asked to be his best man isn't even going to the wedding and a number of mutual friends unfriended him on Facebook, albeit over something else, but it did involve her.
It's a twenty mile drive to his house and I need to take the invitation to him.
Why can't this be easier?
Comments