The further I get into my first attempt at a novel the more I realize my first chapters were terrible.
The further I get into my first attempt at a novel the more I realize my first chapters were terrible. I'm really going to dread the re-write/edit phase. Even when I go back to verify something I wonder if that guy graduated high school much less college.
Also, I'm finding I wrote too much that doesn't add to the story. Sure, it adds to the protagonist, gives him some more depth, but it doesn't really add to the story. And after 16 chapters (each about 13 pages long) I'm finally getting to the mean and potatoes of the story I want to write.
Apparently I'm wordier than I thought I'd ever be when writing. ;)
Is anyone else critical of themselves?
Also, I'm finding I wrote too much that doesn't add to the story. Sure, it adds to the protagonist, gives him some more depth, but it doesn't really add to the story. And after 16 chapters (each about 13 pages long) I'm finally getting to the mean and potatoes of the story I want to write.
Apparently I'm wordier than I thought I'd ever be when writing. ;)
Is anyone else critical of themselves?
Comments
You brainstorm everything and after you are done, you throw it away and start over.
(well, without the throwing away part, that would be really hardcore rewriting:-) )
I go through phases where the self loathing is almost, but not quite palpable.
That's how I managed through college. Spend weeks on a paper, not like it the night before it's due and perform a feat of heroism in writing a completely new paper in 10 hours or less.
Reading all kind of advice from members in the past few months, I've come to find the distance necessary with work, by distance I mean detachment that allows me to accept beta reader's critiques and any critique for that matter.
To your point on being critical of ourselves, I don't see how we could not, given we want to produce the best possible work; and the more I've read other good work, the more critical I am of my own. Then I take a deep breath and say to myself, I'm not an editor; I'd rather go by the editor's critique than my own.
The key is to realize you can never produce a perfect peace of art. Get it to a point where it is acceptable and interesting, and let the art connoisseurs do the rest. :P
Also, It makes me write everyday, which is also a plus.
Are they posts perfect? No, but it keeps me moving forward.
I think if you are writing, then you're moving in the right direction. Good for you. Keep at it.
That's what I meant by good enough to be good enough.
One problem with saying something doesn't have to be perfect is that it can just shift the problem to "Just how _much less than perfect?"
At some point you just need to say, "Screw it. How bad can it be?"
So don't sweat it.
All you can do is keep writing. Different strategies work for different people, but I usually just keep writing and moving forward even if I know the beginning is crap. Sometimes you just need to finish the entire thing, and then hide the novel away for about a month or so. After that you should be in a good position to sit back, re-read the whole thing, and see the big picture with fresh eyes.
And then you can tear it apart.
Good luck with your writing! :) Remember: you only fail if you give up.
I'm would not say I'm insecure at all. I don't drink. I'm not suicidal. I do have a brown sweater I love and have an angry and bitter streak in me, though. Still, I don't think you can lump all writers into the insecure group.
I published my first book, Just Another Life after my friends, family and no less than 6 strangers told me it was great. I still look back at it and wonder what I could have done better.
Been a little more confident with my second book, A Waltz with Aphrodite, because it is simpler and very different to JAL.
I know 'Girl of the Feathr-Spear' will torment me (the strange thing is I look forward to it :)), Notes from the Underground; London Style will be all right... etc etc - let's not get into it too much :)
But, when it comes to characters, I don't think you can have too much depth. However, I like to tell something 'unique' about the world and through that give my character his/her character :) - now, what is this an exapmle of?
I tend to reach a point in most projects where I hate it and want it to die. My 2011 NaNo in particular I was very much irritated with, and I stopped dead at 50,000 words and tossed it aside in disgust. But going back to read it a few months later, I found that it actually has some potential. The plot is still terrible, but the characters are pretty awesome, and I still love the first chapter. I was right to recognize that it has issues, but they're not as bad as I feared in the heat of the moment. That hatred is usually just burnout and a result of not even being able to see the trees for the cracks in the bark, to say nothing of the forest. A little distance and perspective usually allows for more honest evaluation.
I just wanted to make the point that all writers have their moments of doubts. Some writers just handle these doubts better than others, but those doubts are still there.
Sorry if I offended you.