Going Rogue
Earlier today I posted a topic on Google+. This particular post was a share from someone else's post of a feminist blog about how men should not walk up to women "on the street" and tell them they're pretty. While the original author does make the case that this is not a universal rule she does go on to claim that telling women they're pretty or dressed nice is considered harassment or demeaning by a lot of women.
She then goes on to tell us about the inner workings of the male mind and how if we see an attractive woman the only reason we have for complimenting them is because of an innate desire to fuck (her word, not mine).
Is it wrong to compliment a girl? Not at all. And of course, that opinion puts me square in the neanderthal category that feminists reserve for men who don't automatically agree with their position. However, the approach is important: a man walking up to a strange woman on the street and just saying, "Hey, you're hot," would more than likely be off-putting to the girl.
But if you approach a girl, enter into conversation and then compliment the girl during the course of the discussion, how is that harassment?
How many people wouldn't have made friends, or been asked out on dates, or changed their lives had they not walked up to a stranger at some point?
If I see a girl I find intriguing and walk up to her and start a conversation, at some point letting her know I find her attractive, is that wrong? According to the original blog post and the original sharer it is. Why? Because the woman might be offended or not want to attention.
I had a girlfriend once (actually a couple of girlfriends) who were Catholic. They took personal offense to my atheism and my disagreeing with their religion. Although we had many conversations on the matter they always ended the discussions by saying I was offending them.
I have a friend, a guy who I used to work with and who I helped him in his career. During the Bush (II) presidency I said I didn't like the president. [Actually, I probably said: this guy's a moron] He was offended, told me so and didn't talk to me for quite some time.
My step mom's offended because I do not consider her a matriarch of the family. My sister was offended because I didn't "like" one of her Facebook statuses.
I had a stranger get offended because I called my dog a dummy and she over heard me at the park one day.
The point is, being alive and going outside is bound to make someone somewhere uncomfortable. Did I stop calling my dog a dummy in public? Absolutely not. Did I change my opinion on GWB to be more amiable to my friend? Not at all. Did I change my opinion about the Catholic church just to appease my girlfriends? Nope. And yes, one did break up with me over it, the other we broke up because wanted to marry me and I wasn't there yet.
I had a neighbor a few years ago while living in a condo. The complex had open parking in the lot and private parking in the garages (naturally). This neighbor had decided she didn't like where I parked my vehicles because she liked to keep those open parking spaces for her personal use. She'd leave notes on my vehicles and left notes on another resident's vehicles as well. Then she confronted me one day and told me to be a good neighbor and let her have her way. I told her to be a good neighbor and follow the rules of the community which allowed me to park anywhere I wanted except someone's garage. After going back and forth with the HOA (who always sided with me) and even calling the police due to her hysterics, I finally filed a restraining order against her. When I asked neighbors to come to court as witnesses many agreed but one said something I couldn't believe. She said, "Jason, you provoked her."
How did I provoke her?
"Just being anywhere she can see you provokes her."
So, according to this witness/neighbor, my very existence -- without doing anything other than being alive -- I was harassing this other woman.
That's right: my merely being alive was enough for one person to claim I was harassing another even when I was on the receiving end of negative attention.
And yet according to some feminists, because the woman didn't like me I'm supposed to change my life to suit the woman's needs?
Are supposed to live our lives on egg shells hoping at all moments of the day that we're not making someone uncomfortable? Not at all. If we did, we'd be driving a wedge within our society that forces us down the slippery slope to the inevitable result of a Victorian era lifestyle, where every movement within the home and society is choreographed as not to unduly upset anyone else.
As long as we're human we're going to have cultural differences, differences that might upset or offend people who don't share our culture; we're going to have different outlooks of life and society based on our own previous experiences and we're going to be different in the chemical make-up of your minds.
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She then goes on to tell us about the inner workings of the male mind and how if we see an attractive woman the only reason we have for complimenting them is because of an innate desire to fuck (her word, not mine).
Is it wrong to compliment a girl? Not at all. And of course, that opinion puts me square in the neanderthal category that feminists reserve for men who don't automatically agree with their position. However, the approach is important: a man walking up to a strange woman on the street and just saying, "Hey, you're hot," would more than likely be off-putting to the girl.
But if you approach a girl, enter into conversation and then compliment the girl during the course of the discussion, how is that harassment?
How many people wouldn't have made friends, or been asked out on dates, or changed their lives had they not walked up to a stranger at some point?
If I see a girl I find intriguing and walk up to her and start a conversation, at some point letting her know I find her attractive, is that wrong? According to the original blog post and the original sharer it is. Why? Because the woman might be offended or not want to attention.
I had a girlfriend once (actually a couple of girlfriends) who were Catholic. They took personal offense to my atheism and my disagreeing with their religion. Although we had many conversations on the matter they always ended the discussions by saying I was offending them.
I have a friend, a guy who I used to work with and who I helped him in his career. During the Bush (II) presidency I said I didn't like the president. [Actually, I probably said: this guy's a moron] He was offended, told me so and didn't talk to me for quite some time.
My step mom's offended because I do not consider her a matriarch of the family. My sister was offended because I didn't "like" one of her Facebook statuses.
I had a stranger get offended because I called my dog a dummy and she over heard me at the park one day.
The point is, being alive and going outside is bound to make someone somewhere uncomfortable. Did I stop calling my dog a dummy in public? Absolutely not. Did I change my opinion on GWB to be more amiable to my friend? Not at all. Did I change my opinion about the Catholic church just to appease my girlfriends? Nope. And yes, one did break up with me over it, the other we broke up because wanted to marry me and I wasn't there yet.
I had a neighbor a few years ago while living in a condo. The complex had open parking in the lot and private parking in the garages (naturally). This neighbor had decided she didn't like where I parked my vehicles because she liked to keep those open parking spaces for her personal use. She'd leave notes on my vehicles and left notes on another resident's vehicles as well. Then she confronted me one day and told me to be a good neighbor and let her have her way. I told her to be a good neighbor and follow the rules of the community which allowed me to park anywhere I wanted except someone's garage. After going back and forth with the HOA (who always sided with me) and even calling the police due to her hysterics, I finally filed a restraining order against her. When I asked neighbors to come to court as witnesses many agreed but one said something I couldn't believe. She said, "Jason, you provoked her."
How did I provoke her?
"Just being anywhere she can see you provokes her."
So, according to this witness/neighbor, my very existence -- without doing anything other than being alive -- I was harassing this other woman.
That's right: my merely being alive was enough for one person to claim I was harassing another even when I was on the receiving end of negative attention.
And yet according to some feminists, because the woman didn't like me I'm supposed to change my life to suit the woman's needs?
Are supposed to live our lives on egg shells hoping at all moments of the day that we're not making someone uncomfortable? Not at all. If we did, we'd be driving a wedge within our society that forces us down the slippery slope to the inevitable result of a Victorian era lifestyle, where every movement within the home and society is choreographed as not to unduly upset anyone else.
Every book you've ever read is just a different combination of the same 26 letters
As long as we're human we're going to have cultural differences, differences that might upset or offend people who don't share our culture; we're going to have different outlooks of life and society based on our own previous experiences and we're going to be different in the chemical make-up of your minds.
Expand this comment »
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