Depressed?
I've had a couple of friends recently accuse me of being depressed. Not "I'm having a bad day" depressed, but clinically depressed. I brushed them off citing I wasn't depressed, just tired. While I've been sleeping better this past week since my cough has subsided, I have still be extremely tired throughout the day.
Earlier today I was on the phone with one of those friends and she again accused me of being depressed. "No, I'm not," I said. "I'm just tired." And that means I lack motivation to do just about anything constructive. She told me that was a symptom of depression. I wanted to argue with her but then she said something (I can't recall exactly) and I had an epiphany: I haven't been taking pictures.
I always take photos. Sure, there are times where I have set the camera down for a week or two, but never have I set the camera down for this long. It's been nearly two months. Sure, some of that was driving 1.5 hours each day to work and back, plus the 9 hour day and the sun setting ever earlier, but the desire, the want to take pictures has gone. Right now I have ample time to get out and shoot pretty much anything. Sunrises? Sure. Sunsets? Why not? Street photography? No problem-o. About the only thing I don't have the easy ability to do right now is work with props or set up locations. Otherwise, it should be simple enough to get my camera out and snap some pictures.
But ... I haven't wanted to. And that bothers me. Maybe it's because I've lost my drive or maybe it's because I can't think of the camera or anything to shoot with it that doesn't involve Rufus. He was, after all, my unwitting model most days and even when he wasn't, he was with me when I decided to go on a photowalk.
On the other hand, I have felt like writing more, which is why there are far more blog posts in the past week than there were in the months preceding now. So, that's good.
Heck, for the past 9 months, or so, I've been walking and talking. That is, I've been recording my walks with Rufus and then without Rufus, talking - more rambling, really - about whatever was on my mind. There's no reason for me not to keep recording except for the fact that I haven't been walking and so haven't been thinking about recording my thoughts. I think about it every once in a bit, especially with the new phone and the frequent trips to these wifi hotspots that have much better upload speeds than the house I was living in, but even then I have nothing to record - nothing to talk about.
I really should do some test videos; check the video and audio quality from the new phone and see how it goes. I should also look for the phone clamp (ie: selfie stick end) and do some stationary recording and see how that goes.
Even my taking photos with my phone has slowed considerably. Not that I don't, but I haven't been taking photos for the pure joy of taking photos and sharing them, but rather as more of a functional outlet. What do I mean by that? I mean, in order to show or demonstrate a place or thing as opposed to the joy of photography. And even then I don't always take pictures of my surroundings.
Earlier today I was on the phone with one of those friends and she again accused me of being depressed. "No, I'm not," I said. "I'm just tired." And that means I lack motivation to do just about anything constructive. She told me that was a symptom of depression. I wanted to argue with her but then she said something (I can't recall exactly) and I had an epiphany: I haven't been taking pictures.
I always take photos. Sure, there are times where I have set the camera down for a week or two, but never have I set the camera down for this long. It's been nearly two months. Sure, some of that was driving 1.5 hours each day to work and back, plus the 9 hour day and the sun setting ever earlier, but the desire, the want to take pictures has gone. Right now I have ample time to get out and shoot pretty much anything. Sunrises? Sure. Sunsets? Why not? Street photography? No problem-o. About the only thing I don't have the easy ability to do right now is work with props or set up locations. Otherwise, it should be simple enough to get my camera out and snap some pictures.
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On the other hand, I have felt like writing more, which is why there are far more blog posts in the past week than there were in the months preceding now. So, that's good.
Heck, for the past 9 months, or so, I've been walking and talking. That is, I've been recording my walks with Rufus and then without Rufus, talking - more rambling, really - about whatever was on my mind. There's no reason for me not to keep recording except for the fact that I haven't been walking and so haven't been thinking about recording my thoughts. I think about it every once in a bit, especially with the new phone and the frequent trips to these wifi hotspots that have much better upload speeds than the house I was living in, but even then I have nothing to record - nothing to talk about.
I really should do some test videos; check the video and audio quality from the new phone and see how it goes. I should also look for the phone clamp (ie: selfie stick end) and do some stationary recording and see how that goes.
Even my taking photos with my phone has slowed considerably. Not that I don't, but I haven't been taking photos for the pure joy of taking photos and sharing them, but rather as more of a functional outlet. What do I mean by that? I mean, in order to show or demonstrate a place or thing as opposed to the joy of photography. And even then I don't always take pictures of my surroundings.
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