Um, No - I Don't Want to Live In This Situation
I left this morning with the intent of stopping at a wifi hotspot and typing out a blog post, but for the life of me I can't recall what I wanted to write about today. So, you get a life update ...
Let's see, what's been going on with me? Well, an organization I know that helps homeless veterans had another veteran with an apartment they thought I might enjoy living in so they made contact with him and he gave me a call.
We spoke for a while one night and he kept telling me I sounded "cool." (For the record, I am cool.) We chatted for a while and he seemed amazed that I didn't need to go out drinking every night, that I didn't do drugs and that I was pretty much laid back.
We texted back and forth and I guess my first reservations started when he would just send me questions randomly throughout the day like, "Hey, Bro. How the day going?"
He knew I had a job, what I did and that I typically left the office and went to the gym. Why was he asking how my day was? We weren't dating and even if we were, the number of times he asked throughout the day was still a little too much.
Then there were calls just to talk and he kept telling me how cool I was while I kept telling him I'm rarely at the house when I do have a home as I keep pretty busy.
You see, he was out of town training for a job he'd just started. He wasn't around to meet so we only communicated over the phone and he seemed okay, just a little needy, but I wrote that up to him just being concerned for my welfare.
Fast forward and he tells me he's returning to Denver earlier than he thought and we could meet up this past weekend. Okay.
He returned on Sunday, early in the afternoon, and we met.
For a former infantryman he wasn't what I was expecting. He said he didn't drink all that often but seemed to have a giant beer gut and while he told me on the phone he likes to smoke weed, I wasn't prepared for the amount of weed he liked to smoke. For example, within seconds of entering his apartment he lights up a joint, telling me, "If I'm not at work, I'm high. I hope that doesn't bother you."
Well, it does, actually, I told him. Not that he smokes, but that the whole apartment has the pungent aroma of marijuana. He says he likes to smoke and I'll get used to the smell. (Um, no I won't). He tells me he'll get me smoking and I'll learn to love it. (Um, no I won't). He says he needs more so we walk the block over to a marijuana shop and he buys some more. Do I want one? No. He tells the proprietor that he'll eventually get me smoking. (Um, no he won't).
We walk back to his place and I step into a Mexican restaurant and check out the menu. I just wanted to see what the prices were and a taco salad catches my eye. We go back to the apartment and I say I'm thinking about that taco salad. He wants to do shots. But, he has no shot glasses, so he says, "Let's go to the store."
"What store?"
"I'll show you," he says and we walk outside again. This time not even as far as the block to the pot shop, but to the liquor store on the corner. He goes in and asks the guy behind the counter if he can buy a couple of shot glasses.
We go back to the apartment. I tell him I don't normally drink on a work night and he seems surprised. I take a shot to be hospitable and he wants to do another one. All the while he's smoking and vaping more marijuana.
I take the second shot (Jack Daniels, if you must know) and inform him I've been thinking about that taco salad and I wanted to get a bite to eat. He's not hungy, and I tell him I'm fine going on my own. He decides to come.
During this entire time he's talking about these velomobile thing he discovered and how badly he wants one. He's showing me videos of them, telling me all about the different models and even trying to call the owner of the own dealership in the USA to see if they have one that fits my dimensions. I'm trying to be interested in what he's interested, but I keep telling him I'm not interested in buying one.
I go to the Mexican restaurant and he's telling me how he only has $80 left from his first paycheck with that company and because he had to purchase marijuana earlier in the day he only has $20 left.
I talk to the waitress, as I tend to do, and he chides me for not trying to bring her back to his place. For what? So she can sit on his mattress, the only furniture in the place? No.
We get back to his place and I tell him I just want to relax, maybe get a feel for the sounds of the building and the neighborhood. He says okay and I go into the room that might become mine and lay down. He follows me in and keeps talking. I tell him I want to be left alone and he sits in the doorway and talks to me. I tell him I want a minute to myself and he stays there - trying to talk to me.
And I'm getting annoyed.
He finally relents and walks away. He's smoking more.
After a few minutes I head back out to the living room and he's telling me he tried to dab, whatever that is. It should make less smoke, but all I smell is the smoke. He tells me again that I'll get used to it and I tell him I won't and even if I did, it would be on my clothes and would linger with me throughout the day.
He says I can stay there for a few days and try it out - see if I want to move in. I didn't have anywhere else to go, I so I agree.
It's noisy at night. A dripping noise kept me awake all night; the busy street outside never quieted down; I don't know if my room is next to the building's boiler but I keep hearing some large machinery turning on and off. Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep.
He has his mattress in the living room floor and told me he didn't see the point in moving it to a bedroom until he bought a couch. Since I'm just trying it out, I let it go.
The next morning I wake, take my shower and leave. Work is miserable.
I return later in the evening and he's saying I tried to avoid him by sneaking out like a ninja in the morning. I wasn't sneaking out, I was trying not to wake him since he was sleeping in the living room.
He's smoking more weed. I go to "bed."
The next morning he's sure to be awake so he say "bye" to me in the morning. I leave, go to work, run my post-work errands, which included buying food so he could have something to eat and not spend his last twenty dollars, and head back to his house. He said I could stay there until the first when he hopes to have me on the lease. I also bought toilet paper and a couple of other non-perishables.
The next day he's once again awake to say "goodbye" to me in the morning. Later that day he sends me a text message saying he's going to pawn his iPad - one that he's leasing from Sprint - so he can go buy food. He then sends me a picture of his backpack filled to the brim with food.
I just bought sandwich stuff as well as a few other things. They were in his fridge.
I also notice a new thing of marijuana on his mattress. Not only did he buy groceries, but he needed to buy more pot, too. Half of the groceries he bought were the same that I bought: two loaves of bread, lunch meat and condiments.
He's smoking up a storm. I go to "my" room.
This morning as I'm leaving for work he wakes up and says he has to use the bathroom a few times during the night and just to make it quieter for me he'll forego flushing. Um, no, you need to flush.
I can't remember which night it was, but he also mentioned not owning a toothbrush and the more I thought about it, the more I noticed he wore the same pair of jeans and the same t-shirt almost every day since I met him. His towel in the bathroom hasn't moved nor has the soap in the shower.
I don't think he's showering. But - maybe he is and I'm just not noticing. I don't know.
I've been trying to reach our mutual acquaintance for a couple of days to let he know this wasn't going to work for me, but she's been busy. Today she was supposed to call but instead I get a text message saying she'd call tomorrow morning.
All I know is I can't live with this guy as he's going to decide he can pawn my computer or camera one day to buy pot under the premise that he'll get it out of hock on his next paycheck.
Um, no.
The sad part is, I'm not sure if he'll take it kindly when I inform him I'd rather not move in with him. He's considering it a done deal and I haven't committed to anything at all other than this trial period. Apparently he had another friend that was supposed to move in with him that backed out earlier, thus making the room available.
Let's see, what's been going on with me? Well, an organization I know that helps homeless veterans had another veteran with an apartment they thought I might enjoy living in so they made contact with him and he gave me a call.
We spoke for a while one night and he kept telling me I sounded "cool." (For the record, I am cool.) We chatted for a while and he seemed amazed that I didn't need to go out drinking every night, that I didn't do drugs and that I was pretty much laid back.
We texted back and forth and I guess my first reservations started when he would just send me questions randomly throughout the day like, "Hey, Bro. How the day going?"
He knew I had a job, what I did and that I typically left the office and went to the gym. Why was he asking how my day was? We weren't dating and even if we were, the number of times he asked throughout the day was still a little too much.
Then there were calls just to talk and he kept telling me how cool I was while I kept telling him I'm rarely at the house when I do have a home as I keep pretty busy.
You see, he was out of town training for a job he'd just started. He wasn't around to meet so we only communicated over the phone and he seemed okay, just a little needy, but I wrote that up to him just being concerned for my welfare.
Fast forward and he tells me he's returning to Denver earlier than he thought and we could meet up this past weekend. Okay.
He returned on Sunday, early in the afternoon, and we met.
For a former infantryman he wasn't what I was expecting. He said he didn't drink all that often but seemed to have a giant beer gut and while he told me on the phone he likes to smoke weed, I wasn't prepared for the amount of weed he liked to smoke. For example, within seconds of entering his apartment he lights up a joint, telling me, "If I'm not at work, I'm high. I hope that doesn't bother you."
Well, it does, actually, I told him. Not that he smokes, but that the whole apartment has the pungent aroma of marijuana. He says he likes to smoke and I'll get used to the smell. (Um, no I won't). He tells me he'll get me smoking and I'll learn to love it. (Um, no I won't). He says he needs more so we walk the block over to a marijuana shop and he buys some more. Do I want one? No. He tells the proprietor that he'll eventually get me smoking. (Um, no he won't).
We walk back to his place and I step into a Mexican restaurant and check out the menu. I just wanted to see what the prices were and a taco salad catches my eye. We go back to the apartment and I say I'm thinking about that taco salad. He wants to do shots. But, he has no shot glasses, so he says, "Let's go to the store."
"What store?"
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| This is How He Lives |
"I'll show you," he says and we walk outside again. This time not even as far as the block to the pot shop, but to the liquor store on the corner. He goes in and asks the guy behind the counter if he can buy a couple of shot glasses.
We go back to the apartment. I tell him I don't normally drink on a work night and he seems surprised. I take a shot to be hospitable and he wants to do another one. All the while he's smoking and vaping more marijuana.
I take the second shot (Jack Daniels, if you must know) and inform him I've been thinking about that taco salad and I wanted to get a bite to eat. He's not hungy, and I tell him I'm fine going on my own. He decides to come.
During this entire time he's talking about these velomobile thing he discovered and how badly he wants one. He's showing me videos of them, telling me all about the different models and even trying to call the owner of the own dealership in the USA to see if they have one that fits my dimensions. I'm trying to be interested in what he's interested, but I keep telling him I'm not interested in buying one.
I go to the Mexican restaurant and he's telling me how he only has $80 left from his first paycheck with that company and because he had to purchase marijuana earlier in the day he only has $20 left.
I talk to the waitress, as I tend to do, and he chides me for not trying to bring her back to his place. For what? So she can sit on his mattress, the only furniture in the place? No.
We get back to his place and I tell him I just want to relax, maybe get a feel for the sounds of the building and the neighborhood. He says okay and I go into the room that might become mine and lay down. He follows me in and keeps talking. I tell him I want to be left alone and he sits in the doorway and talks to me. I tell him I want a minute to myself and he stays there - trying to talk to me.
And I'm getting annoyed.
He finally relents and walks away. He's smoking more.
After a few minutes I head back out to the living room and he's telling me he tried to dab, whatever that is. It should make less smoke, but all I smell is the smoke. He tells me again that I'll get used to it and I tell him I won't and even if I did, it would be on my clothes and would linger with me throughout the day.
He says I can stay there for a few days and try it out - see if I want to move in. I didn't have anywhere else to go, I so I agree.
It's noisy at night. A dripping noise kept me awake all night; the busy street outside never quieted down; I don't know if my room is next to the building's boiler but I keep hearing some large machinery turning on and off. Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep.
He has his mattress in the living room floor and told me he didn't see the point in moving it to a bedroom until he bought a couch. Since I'm just trying it out, I let it go.
The next morning I wake, take my shower and leave. Work is miserable.
I return later in the evening and he's saying I tried to avoid him by sneaking out like a ninja in the morning. I wasn't sneaking out, I was trying not to wake him since he was sleeping in the living room.
He's smoking more weed. I go to "bed."
The next morning he's sure to be awake so he say "bye" to me in the morning. I leave, go to work, run my post-work errands, which included buying food so he could have something to eat and not spend his last twenty dollars, and head back to his house. He said I could stay there until the first when he hopes to have me on the lease. I also bought toilet paper and a couple of other non-perishables.
The next day he's once again awake to say "goodbye" to me in the morning. Later that day he sends me a text message saying he's going to pawn his iPad - one that he's leasing from Sprint - so he can go buy food. He then sends me a picture of his backpack filled to the brim with food.
I just bought sandwich stuff as well as a few other things. They were in his fridge.
I also notice a new thing of marijuana on his mattress. Not only did he buy groceries, but he needed to buy more pot, too. Half of the groceries he bought were the same that I bought: two loaves of bread, lunch meat and condiments.
 |
| Sandwich Stuff |
He's smoking up a storm. I go to "my" room.
This morning as I'm leaving for work he wakes up and says he has to use the bathroom a few times during the night and just to make it quieter for me he'll forego flushing. Um, no, you need to flush.
I can't remember which night it was, but he also mentioned not owning a toothbrush and the more I thought about it, the more I noticed he wore the same pair of jeans and the same t-shirt almost every day since I met him. His towel in the bathroom hasn't moved nor has the soap in the shower.
I don't think he's showering. But - maybe he is and I'm just not noticing. I don't know.
I've been trying to reach our mutual acquaintance for a couple of days to let he know this wasn't going to work for me, but she's been busy. Today she was supposed to call but instead I get a text message saying she'd call tomorrow morning.
All I know is I can't live with this guy as he's going to decide he can pawn my computer or camera one day to buy pot under the premise that he'll get it out of hock on his next paycheck.
Um, no.
The sad part is, I'm not sure if he'll take it kindly when I inform him I'd rather not move in with him. He's considering it a done deal and I haven't committed to anything at all other than this trial period. Apparently he had another friend that was supposed to move in with him that backed out earlier, thus making the room available.
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