Roommate's Girlfriend Woes

For those of you who have been paying attention, my roommate has been wooing a woman for over a year. I use the term loosely, of course. 

He was dating this woman when I met him and moved in and she broke up with him a couple months later citing he was "too nice". I have it on good authority that "too nice" means she has no respect for you when she uses it as a break up term. Naturally, I'm not a woman so I'm going by what a couple of women have told to me. 

After about 6 months they began speaking again. First it was conversations on the phone and then it was him driving the hour or so to see her. He even helped her pack up and move out of state when she decided to move back to her parent's place.

While she was in North Dakota they spoke almost every night and somehow she was suddenly staying here for a week. Or was it weeks?

Not her dog - his

First of all, I don't know how the subject was broached. Did he offer our place to her or did she suggest it would be easier for her to search for a job in Colorado if she were local and he jumped on it? I don't know as I wasn't privy to those discussions. All I know is he told me she was coming and would be staying a week.

He was so proud. He reorganized the house to make it "look more welcoming", rearranged his bedroom to accommodate not only his bed, but his son's and her crib, removed a bunch of toys from his bedroom (yes, he's 46 and has a toy collection) and cleaned the place daily until she arrived. 

Oh, didn't I mentioned that? He sleeps with his 7 year old son less than 3 feet away. But, for her, he moved his bed as far away as possible and instead of their sleeping arrangements being parallel, they were now foot to foot.

He didn't tell me she would be bringing her kid (why couldn't the kid have stayed at grandma and grandpa's house?) and her dog. Those were surprises. 

He also spent the days leading up to her arrival showing everyone pictures of her boobs saying, "Look who's coming to visit me."

She came and was here a few days before I started complaining to a neighbor. The neighbor told me how my roommate told her that his girlfriend would be staying weeks, not a singular week. 

Weeks!  He never brought up the possibility of "weeks" with me.

But sure enough, she was here for three weeks, leaving just this past Sunday.

During her time here I never saw them being affectionate. No random touches, no smooches, not fun flirty behavior - nothing. I kept thinking this isn't a couple, but two people sharing space.

Just a few moments ago I heard him on the phone with someone. Now, I don't normally listen to his conversations but he's loud due to his tinnitus and it's hard not to listen in.

He was complaining that it's hard finding a good woman. 

What I had noticed since she left was that they hadn't spoken on the phone at all, much less every night. They probably checked in with each other when she arrived back home and, I have to guess, they had at least one conversation, but maybe they had it before she went home. I don't know. 

He was also complaining about how she once again told him he was a "good guy" and "she said I am a logical choice" but then she says "it won't happen." Continuing on, he mentions how he didn't like her kid. Specifically, the kid was "too loud." And I'll freely admit, the kid was loud. At two, maybe three, he couldn't communicate clearly so he would scream or cry at everything. It was quite annoying. I found it odd that he mentioned this as he's very family oriented - he held the kid, changed his diapers, played with him, etc. and then complained that the kid was being a kid. 

His complaints aren't surprising when you see how his own kid is extremely skittish, afraid to speak up and massively insecure.

The roommate then goes on to talk about this woman's dog (I wanted to say "girlfriend", but I think we can all agree they're not BF/GF at this point) whom he also complains about. The dog actually wasn't that bad, but she did tend to bark at strangers - as dogs will do. But, he didn't care for it and so he had a problem with her dog. 

He would have hated Rufus because not only did Rufus bark at people from the window and patio, but I allowed him everywhere: the kitchen, living room, bed, etc. He's much more controlling with his kid and dog that a lot of people are and I think he doesn't understand any other way.

That being said, the dog wasn't bad. She was also extremely insecure, like she was yelled at or hit a lot. The poor dog was always hiding under a table or behind the couch and kept her gaze upon the woman as though she was afraid to be caught out. 

Almost like a battered child or spouse.

While she was here they drank like fishes. In fact, after his heart stents a couple of months ago he had cut down on the drinking and moved from beer to wine. While she was here they were downing a case a beer a night. If you call Coors Light a beer. 

Protip: if you have to be inebriated to be around the one you "love", chances are you're not in a healthy relationship. 

So ... she's gone and he's not happy. In fact, he's not saying anything positive about her being here at all.