Life Update

I wanted to give a quick update on my life for those of you who pay attention to such things.

First

Homelessness is hard. Not so hard for me as it is for other people, but still, it's not easy. Let me explain:

• Unlike many homeless people, I at least still have my vehicle and it's still running. For those of you who don't know, I've been sleeping in my truck for a few weeks now. At first it was just unnerving as I tried to find safe places to call it a night, but as I've become more comfortable with truck-camping (or, Hobo Camping) it's become much easier to get a night's sleep. Not a good night's sleep, mind you, just a night's sleep. 
• Tiredness. Whoa, am I tired. All the time. Sure, I'm sleeping, but not very well and not very comfortably. In fact, I've been getting better sleep by napping during the day than sleeping at night. Maybe it's because here in Colorado day-camping is legal just about everywhere. That means you can pull into a park a crash and the authorities will generally leave you alone. Not that Nosey Nelly's will, but the police will generally not bother you. 
• Finding things to fill my days with. When I first learned of my impending homelessness I at least had a job I could go to every day. Eight to nine hours of my day was taken up working, but due to a perfect storm of personal events, I ended up losing my job and now I have hours every day to fill. Luckily, most days the libraries are open and when they're not there are coffee shops (like where I am now) or, at the very least, big box stores and malls. I haven't been to a mall yet, but there have been days where I've spent an hour or two moping around a box store.
• Shelters ... I haven't been to a shelter yet. I spoke with a shelter rep at a veteran's event the other day and he admitted (grudgingly) that shelters aren't as safe as they'd like them to be. For example, theft and violence does occur. For that, I'd rather spend my time in my truck. In fact, the other day I discovered a post over on Reddit about why homeless people don't use shelters more often and some contributors also admitted shelters aren't necessarily safe. Also, the shelter "case managers" as they called themselves, said everyone who uses the shelter must [1] attend group counseling sessions, [2] must attend mental health counseling sessions, [3] must attend addiction counseling sessions and, in the case of religion-run shelters, [4] must attend services. Um, no. I'm not addicted to anything, nor do I have a mental instability (aside from a strong stubborn streak if you believe my friends); and I'm not going to attend religious sermons just so the shelters can feel like they're reaching people for their religion. 

A Night at the Store

On Thursday evening I went to a place I thought would be safe to park for the evening. It's a church in an affluent part of town, but the church has a large parking lot and a handful of vehicles parked in the back where my truck won't stick out to most people. Sadly, by the time I arrived it looked like the church was still holding an event as there were about 10-12 cars in the parking lot. So, I pulled in a couple doors down at a supermarket in a strip mall. I figured I'd just read some social media or watch a couple of YouTube videos and check the church's lot in 20 minutes or so. 

She was parked there at least 10min.

When I pulled in I noticed this white sedan parked up on the sidewalk, parking lights on, engine running. I thought maybe the driver was waiting for someone to come out and load groceries or something but 10 minutes later and the car hadn't moved and no one had come out of the store. Please realize, this was roughly 9:30 at night, the parking lot of mostly empty and there was no reason for this woman to be parked up on the sidewalk. 

I decided to go into the store and grab a snack since I hadn't eaten since lunch and as I passed the vehicle on the sidewalk I took it's photo. Not only was it up on the sidewalk, but it was also in a fire lane. 

Maybe I'm just becoming more aware of it or maybe people have just become more self-proclaimed privileged, but this sort of behavior annoys me. People who have no compunction against cutting in line, grabbing the last whatever, screwing up traffic as they push over from the far left lane to the far right; etc. These are all self-imposed privileges where once people were more considerate or, at the very least, respectful. 

She drives off. I go into the store and sit at the Starbucks cafe inside and type out a social media post about this woman and where she's parked. A few minutes later this woman and he husband come rushing up to me, "Who the fuck do you think you are taking a picture of my wife?"

Public arena. I can take a picture of whatever I want, but I didn't say that. Instead I replied with something like, "She was parked illegally. On a sidewalk and in a fire zone."

"Who the fuck do you think you are? The police? The fire marshal?"

"It doesn't matter. She was parked illegally and I've already posted it to social media." I'd hit  <send> as they rushed up on me. That seemed to only infuriate them more and the guy pushed me, knocking me back a few steps. I actually grabbed the chair I was sitting in to swing at him, but put it back down knowing full well if I did it would be felony assault. Instead I just yelled for him to back up and get away from me. He kept coming after me and I pushed him back. That's when he started crying that I'd assaulted him. Wait, he pushed me and when I push back it's suddenly assault?

The store supervisor came over and inserted herself between us. The man spit in my face and kept coming after me, his wife kept saying I smelled drunk and that I was a vagrant and she didn't know this store allowed vagrants to hang out in it. Odd, since I hadn't had alcohol in weeks and I was wearing almost what I'm wearing now: jeans, a hoodie and a t-shirt. The store supervisor said she'd already called the police and I said, "Good!" The couple promptly left. In my opinion, they feared what any cameras might have caught and they wouldn't be able to control the narrative.

Once they were gone I apologized to the store and showed my photo that started it all. I then explained what had happened and a store clerk who was with the supervisor said he witnessed the man spit in my face. That's a witness to assault and I was looking forward to the police arriving. She, the store supervisor, then admitted she hadn't called the police, but just said she did to quiet things down. 

I left the store and went to my truck to update my social media post from earlier only to have this couple return and park behind me for about thirty seconds. I could only assume to take a picture of my license plate. They drove off and I drove off as well. No longer feeling comfortable in that area I decided to move on, but then thought I should let the store supervisor know they came back just to get my information. When I returned to the store the woman was standing there with the supervisor. I smiled like nothing was wrong and just said, "Oops, I forgot my snack." The supervisor told me later that the woman came back to press charges against me. 

For what? Being hit by her husband? Seriously, it's people like that who need mental health counseling. 

I slept in a church parking lot a few miles away, just in case.

Post-Exit Interview

Finally on Friday I had my post-exit interview with my previous company. It was me, the HR rep and an HR trainee. 

I was as objective as I could have been and was even told by both the HR rep and the trainee that I was being far more fair than they imagined I would be. The interview took over an hour and in the end the HR rep offered my a job back with the company. I have yet to decide if I'm going to take it. While the company was fun, I"d already failed there once and am not sure if that's the right fit for me. Especially if I was now being looked at with a little more scrutiny from the higher ups. "We gave this guy a second chance and he's still a failure" is a great fear of mine. 

Saturday and Sunday

On both Saturday and Sunday I, as I have done every morning since becoming homeless, woke and made my way to the gym. On Saturday I saw someone for a brief moment who looked familiar. I'd thought about it numerous times throughout the day wondering if I saw who I thought I saw. Fast-forward until Sunday morning and I walk into the gym to see the same guy. I walk over to him, "Hi. Did you know you have a striking resemblance to Mike Coffman?"

"That's because I am Mike Coffman."

So, the guy I see at the gym in the early mornings is Congressman Mike Coffman. We chatted for a moment - me offering condolences on his recent campaign loss - before I finally mentioned "this is what a homeless veteran looks like."

We then briefly talked about homelessness, veterans and the programs available out there to people in my situation. I informed him the VA has been a godsend but I was a little annoyed that almost all the homeless programs were administered by outside groups via grants from the VA. I'd rather just work with the VA itself than have to deal with religious affiliated organizations. 

Sunday was cold. It was so cold I was tempted to try a shelter out, but decided to rent a hotel room instead. I was lucky enough to find a cheap place ($65) for the night, but you get what you pay for. My room overlooked a gas station, which in itself isn't a bad thing, but with the delivery trucks coming and going at all hours of the night, I could barely sleep more than a couple of hours at a time. Also, the walls were extremely thin. I could hear the music and TV coming from rooms both behind and above me. Not to mention the rolling thunder that occurred outside my door and window whenever someone walked by with their rolling luggage. Even this morning, at 5AM, I woke to a man in the room behind mine yelling "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" over and over again. 

Sunday, itself, wasn't too bad though. For the first 10-15 years after exiting the military I'd never really done much on Veteran's Day. I'd always tell my boss I wanted the day off of work and he'd always say "no", but I never went out of my way for any of the free offerings from businesses. Then I decided to try it once. Free dinner at Applebee's. I went with my friend, my former roommate, and it was the last time she went.Luckily another friend would always go with me after the that, but last year and this year I was all alone. No one wanted to go, not even my Army buddies. So, for breakfast I have [free] Village Inn. For lunch I had [free] Chili's. Then a [free] haircut at SportsClips and afterwards I headed to the hotel. 

This morning I woke and went to Denny's which was also having a [free] breakfast for veterans and I'm hoping to go to dinner tonight at another restaurant hosting [free] dinners for vets. 

I have some other insights I've run across from being homeless and I keep meaning to remember them to write about, but they never seem to come to mind when I sit down to write. Insights like, when a door closes a window opens, or whatever that saying is. I never would have met Mike Coffman had it not been for my homelessness. Maybe that's a door. Or a window. I don't know. He has nothing to lose by supporting my career in the Federal government, if he so chooses. I also have that door open at the company I recently left. It may stay open for a while or slam shut. I don't know.