You know that feeling when you take your dog out for a walk, let him run free for a little while and then bring him...

You know that feeling when you take your dog out for a walk, let him run free for a little while and then bring him home only to catch the occasional whiff of something three-day old dead now and again?

Oh, it doesn't end there.

You know that feeling when you realize your dog is covered in something dead, so much so that his fur looks like someone put gel in it and spiked it up -- just for you?

Oh no, it doesn't end there.

Do you know that feeling when you can't get close enough to your dog, without a gag reflex, in order to give him a bath? So, you grab one of those painter's masks and drag him into the shower stall?

Oh, it get's worse.

Do you know that feeling when you're bathing your dog, using half a bottle of doggie shampoo, and you're pulling the occasional twig or clump of leave out of his fur? Do you know that feeling when you reach for the next one only to realize it's not fur but some sort of flesh that tangled itself within his fur, right under his ear?

::shudder::

Do you know that feeling when you have to use your bare hands to slowly pull out that clump of flesh about the size of a dime, maybe a penny, and you realize there's something hard in there: perhaps bone, perhaps a beak perhaps a shell?

And then the dog gives you a WTF look like I just made myself smell pretty and you're ruining it all!!?

Do you know that feeling when all the windows in the house being open aren't enough to get rid of the stench and all the Febreeze in the bottle isn't enough to clear the air?

Yeah, I know all of this. It's been a great evening.