Because I have no where else to go and I'm hungry.
Fast zombies or slow zombies?
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Jason Bayton, the girl I was living with for a few years asked me to move out with a "get out" date of about 6 weeks ago. She didn't give a coherent explanation other than after a few years and some time with her ex- I annoyed her.
So, I moved in with a friend of mine who I've known for about 10 years. This guy was always a bit weird, but he was a good guy, the kind of person who move mountains to help out a friend. However, he is an OCD Type-A asshat and I'm not. We had a couple of discussions that turned into arguments because he is never wrong; he is apparently an expert in science, physics, astronomy, human resources, history (especially in and of the British Isles and Ireland, and Scandanavia), European Folklore, cars, electronics, international relations, motorcycles, religion, etc. And when you show him he's wrong? The source of your proof is obviously wrong. Duh!
My dog was not allowed in his house, I was not allowed to wash my dog's food dishes in his kitchen, nor his dishwasher. I was not allowed to use my laundry detergent in his machines, and if I loaded the dishwasher he always, always, had to re-organize everything I did. I do not load the dishwasher the way he likes it. I was not allowed to keep food in his refrigerator, or his cabinets, keep a newspaper or any other reading material for more than an hour or so and god's forbid I leave the porch light on so I have light to see by when I come back after dark. He also had this weird thing with locks and every time I stepped out of his house, no matter even if I was sitting in the yard with my dog (Rufus) he would go around and lock the doors.
Grant didn't ask me to do anything, he ordered me to do things. Instead of, "hey, can you get the garbage out in the morning," it was, "You need to take the garbage out." Instead of "It would help me out if you could rake those leaves," it was, "You need to go rake those leaves."
He also had a problem with my having friends. In the 6 weeks I stayed with him I went out nearly every Saturday and Friday night to parties, happy hours, social gatherings, etc. I even went on a few Google+ photowalks. I never invited him because he is not someone I like introducing to my friends, especially if I'm just meeting them myself. Apparently, he was getting upset that I had a life and wasn't inviting him to share it.
On my last day there (our Thanksgiving) he told me his imaginary girlfriend wouldn't come over to his house while I was living there. Well, for a year he was telling everyone his girlfriend was this girl Heather (who vehemently denied it when I asked her) and yet he was telling Heather he was dating his ex-fiance (15-17 years ago) who just broke up with her husband. So, no one really knows who this girlfriend of his is.
The last draw for me was when I found out he was throwing away some of my things. Little things, easily replaced, but my things all the same. I noticed something missing one day and the next I asked him if he'd seen them. He looked at me and said he threw them away. I asked him why. He smirked and said he didn't want it in his house. I (raising my voice but not yelling yet) said they were my items and he had no right. He then pulled out his one and only trump card and said I should look for another place to live.
Anywho, he then told me I had two hours two get out of his house. I told him he had two hours to suck my balls. (By this time I was mad and tired of putting up with his idiosyncrasies) He then said he'd call the police if I didn't get out immediately. I told him to shove it. He called the police. I told him no wonder he's 46 and never been married or had a girlfriend in more than 10 years, he's too much of a pussy for any woman to be with him. And the police escorted me out. :D
So, that's the short of it. I would say if I ever see him on the street he should be wary, but he never goes outside, he officially has no friends so he never goes to bars and I will never see him at a party.