Jasonisms

My aunt is sick. Her body is bent and broken thanks to a severe case of  rheumatoid arthritis and last year the doctors decided to take one foot and the other leg, citing the arthritis aggressively cutting circulation to her feet. Last week she was diagnosed with lung cancer. This past weekend she had a stroke. She turned down any form of treatment for her cancer because (1) she wouldn't recover and (2) because she didn't want to experience all that pain and suffering to still have the cancer and the arthritis. My mom called this morning to say the doctors gave her a two week window to live. Apparently, the plan is to have her cremated, but I was wondering, with her conditions, whether or not donating her body to research would be the wisest course of action. She won't. Believe it or not, she's way too modest to let people poke around her body. Heck, she won't even let people take pictures of her. Life gave my aunt the short end of the stick. It really ...

This is an amazing commercial. Get yourself ready for some waterworks and then click 'play.' #whiskey #family https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VteDp3IK-60&feature=youtube_gdata_player

You can't choose your neighbors or your family. That's the saying, at least and for the most part, it's true. Sometimes you can adopt (choosing family) and sometimes you live in a co-op where you have to be approved to move in -- you know, to keep the riff-raff out of the neighborhood. However, a vast majority of us don't fall into these categories -- most of us aren't adopted and most of us don't live in co-ops. A vast majority of us also have some sort of family drama that makes get-togethers a pain in the ass or we have that weird cousin, uncle, niece or whatnot who provides ample gossip for the rest of the relatives. Chances are, I'm that weird family member people talk about -- but for different reasons than this blog post is about. This  post is about my older brother. A couple of days ago I rang in the new year (for) me with my 38th birthday. Yes, yes, ladies, it's means I'm becoming more awesome. My older brother just turned 40 or w...

What annoys me more than anything? One guess and I'll give you a hint: it's the same reason I live 2000 miles away. That's right, it's my family. This morning my mom called and since the call came about 7 hours before she normally calls me I answered call thinking the reason for her call was some sort of emergency or death in the family. Nothing. Just garbled background noise as though I'd been pocket dialed. But she just bought an iPhone 4 (or 4s, I really don't know) and as far as I know it's a little harder to pocket dial those handsets with screen dialers than phones with physical keyboards. So I call her. "Did you call me?" "No. "Yes you did, at 7:15 this morning." "I did? Oh, I must have dialed you from my purse." That seemed weird to me since most modern touchscreen phones use a capacitive technology, which I'm told means electrical signal . The electrical signals transmitting throughout our skin ...