Jasonisms

A man walks into a Costco. While sampling foodstuffs he comes upon a vendor sampling "Malibu Burgers" and he decides to take a bite, having seen them in the coolers for a while but not quite knowing what they were. It's tasteless and nothing special. For some reason he was under the assumption the Malibu Burger would have fruit, perhaps pineapple, in the patty. Instead, it was bland. He says to the woman behind the booth, "Oh, I've been wanting to try these. I didn't know it was a veggie patty. I thought it would have fruit or something in it."  The lady responds, "Well, I think it's supposed to be from Hawai'i. All those people are vegetarians." The man couldn't believe she said that. Not only is it extremely generic of her to claim everyone in Hawai'i is a vegetarian, but she also failed to understand where Malibu was located. So the man pointed it out, "Actually, Malibu is in California." The woman look...

Sweet delicious chunky chocolate chip cookies. Yum. Better yet, sweet delicious, moist, Costco chunky chocolate chip cookies. Great for the taste buds and terrible for the waistline. But I couldn't help myself. Costco has a current rebate on their glorious cookies at $1.50 off retail pricing. And I loved them. Every single one of them: with milk, without milk, as the heat of the mid-day Sun melted the chocolate chunks and the cool counter-top air kept them solid. Costco bakery cookies are some of the best manufactured cookies in these United States and I have to force myself not to buy them every time I go into the store. Yeah, self-discipline is a bitch. However, with the discount, even at only $1.50 off their normal price, I caved in and bought a package of 24 large chocolaty bliss -- and had a couple on the drive home. Then another with dinner, and another for an after dinner snack. Then the next morning with milk, for breakfast. And a mid-morning snack. And then I ...